"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other. So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Rev 3:15-16
I have chosen to memorize this verse since it is our theme verse for the next year here at Amor. This is a tough verse. There is no in between with God. It is probably not fun to be "lukewarm" anyway. Funny thing is, I often find myself being lukewarm. I get lazy and lose passion and fire. I don't know why I do that - is it my way of checking out and taking a breather or is it just easier to be lazy and not apply passion to my life and walk with the Lord. Lazy is not profitable for anyone, especially myself and my family. I want to live life to its fullest with passion and zeal. I want to know God and be known by God. I want to love others the way Christ loves me. I want to continually give of myself and find energy in being loving and compassionate to all that I encounter. What about you? What is your purpose and passion in life? What do you want to go out of this life being known for?

We are in escrow! AAHHHAAHHH! Don't get me wrong, I am really excited but scared out of my bloomin' mind. It means more scrutiny about where and how we spend money and more time at home. I am really excited though. It is a beautiful home and it really is move-in ready. It is in a great neighborhood with a great school district, and most important close to my parents so when we have kids they can be close to their grandparents. I was never close to my grandparents growing up and I really think that I missed out. Dan was very close to his grandparents and to hear the stories and see the pictures makes me wish I had had that growing up. Anyway back to the escrow issue. We are supposed to close on the 17th of September! Whahoo. It is our one year anniversary to each other. Can you believe it has already been one whole year. It has just flown by with so much going on. It has been amazing. I have learned more about the love of my life and grown more in love with him. We have been through many trying times but it brings us closer and makes us stronger. The Lord has been so gracious to us and really called on us to trust Him.
I was in the hospital on Thursday morning, in intense pain. It turns out I have a kidney infection. I would not recommend one of those to anyone. It is very painful and greatly affects your life for several days. I am being a good girl and taking my meds and trying to sleep and rest and heal up. I look pretty pitful since I am wearing a cast on my right foot and holding my kidney (my right lower back area). I am quite the sight. I hope you have enjoyed a little wandering through my brain today. :)

Sadness

Death...I try to avoid the reality of it. Apparently you can only avoid it for so long before it finds you. Dan's grandmother passed away on July 30th, 2008 and it hurts. I miss her so much and feel like it was not right that she be taken away from us. I want her back. It was the first funeral for me and let me tell you...I am NOT a fan. They are sad and awkward. You are never sure what to say and you don't know what will make you cry or even if you will cry. Then when you put the ashes in the niche, you think, this is really final, she is not coming back. Who thought dying should be part of the life process. I do not care for it at all. I want to go to heaven but I was kind of hoping to just kind of float my way there. I don't want to experience pain or death. I think reality is settling in slowly that that is not the way it works. The good news is that God is faithful and He loves me more than I can fathom. I have also chosen to believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died for me and conquered death so that I could be with Him for eternity. I have faith that I will be with the Father in the future and I have to tell you that I am really looking forward to it. I have no concept of what it will be like in heaven but I am positive it will not be a place of sorrow, regret, or pain. Thank you Jesus for loving me and for saving me from an eternity without You!

hmmmmmmm

Life changes all the time. I can't seem to keep up with all that is going on around me and even in my own life. I am an executive assistant at Amor ministries and serving four different execs. I love it and can't believe how amazingly God has worked in my life. I have had a few different jobs in my short lifetime but to look back I see God's hand guiding and involved in each one.
More blessings to talk about...I am married to the most wonderful man. I never would have guessed that God would put us together and guide us and bless us in our marriage the way that He has. We bring strength and healing to each others weak spots. He is a wonderful man full of love, compassion, strength, wisdom, and a servants heart. I love him so very much.
Right now we are on the hunt for a house since the market seems to be in our favor at the moment. This is another thing that we will be praying our way through - hoping not only to survive but to come out just fine. It is stressful and slow but I guess this is a good test of my lack of patience. :)
We are going to Sacramento tomorrow for our dear friends wedding. I can't wait to see Kyle walk down the aisle and say "I do". After the wedding, Dan and I are headed to Tahoe for a much needed vacation. We are very excited and hoping that it is not too smokey from the Northern California fires.
That's the update. Thanks for reading!

Colorado

Well, I just got back to San Diego after a week in Crestone, Colorado. It is a small town with not a whole lot going on. It was so relaxing and it was so great to see my grandma and my uncle. We stayed with my uncle and it was wonderful. It snowed a couple of times and hailed a bit. We went for a hike and rode the ATV. It was just a great getaway. I was able to spend time reading and praying and just really getting away from all the busyness of life. We saw many deer and hike by a couple of creeks. It was all very peaceful. It was emotionally draining in some senses. My relatives don't know Jesus and it makes things hard sometimes. They find god within themselves and work to think good thoughts. I want my whole family spending eternity in the presence of a loving and all powerful God. I want them to have no more pain or sorrow. I want good things for them all.

I have been reading a book called Prayer, by Philip Yancey. It is really good. I like Yancy's writing style, it is honest and fresh and full of stories and descriptions. It is comforting to know that so many of us deal with the same issues with prayer. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to the wall, other times I don't understand why He does not answer, and still other times I feel at peace in my relationship. God is such a mystery and we have so many things to learn. I love that I can approach the seat of grace with confidence. Jesus made the way for me to approach myself and work on my relationship with the Lord.

God is so good. He has been so much work in my life lately. I am growing and being challenged. God is healing me - slowly but He is healing me. I am looking forward to all that God has for me and the opportunities that are being presented to me. I am really looking forward to being changed and having my life and boundaries expanded.

Please share your thoughts and experiences with me.

30 days left to live

The sermon series at church is "What would you do if you had 30 days left to live". It has struck a chord with me. I have not been able to stop thinking about it and mulling it over. It has really challenged me to look at my life and ask what is most important to me. Lately I have just been trying to survive. I have not been looking at the big picture or experiencing joy in life. There are so many joys to be had and I am missing them. How do you live your life with an eternal perspective? How do you make each day count? What do you say to that friend or family member who does not have Jesus as their Savior? Do you do more than just try to live a different life with a godly example? These are just some of the questions I have been asking myself.

I want to leave a legacy that says I was a godly woman who truly cared about people. I want to make a difference in the lives of the people around me. How do I let go of my selfish desires and replace them with a vision of the end? It needs to be more than just reading the Bible and spending time in prayer. Those are great things but a life lived for God, I think is so much more. There should be joys, trials, challenges, victories, love, fellowship and fun. We should be enjoying life as though it were a gift. We are given each breath we breathe.

If I were truly honest, if I had 30 days left to live I am afraid that I would waste some of it with self pity and anger. I wish I was in a place where I knew that I would boldly love and share the gospel. I should already be doing that of course. I think if I were already living my life as though I had 30 days left to live that if I really had 30 days left to live, nothing would change. I would live out my final days the way I was already living. Loving my family, picking my battles carefully, sharing the love of Christ boldly, not being afraid to give things away and meet the needs of those around me if I can. That is the way I want to live my life. How about you?

Crazy Busy

I work for a company that just started up a couple of years ago. We are working on getting our name out and letting people know all that we offer. We have several things coming up in the next two months that have all of us losing our minds. We have the CMA conference in Dallas coming up in about a week. Most of that is ready to rock and roll. We have thumb drives to give out that still need our information downloaded on them and things like that. We are running crazy last minute. I don't work as good last minute as my compadres do. Then on the 16th of May, we have a test run of our whole program to make sure we have all the kinks out. We will be doing the classroom stuff and the one day house build in Mexico. It should be tons of fun, but a lot of work, especially with the next conference right around the corner. We have the ASTD pre-workshop Mexico build on May 31st and then we have the conference from June 2-4. It should be crazy. I am ready for things to settle into a pattern, but I have a feeling that it will be quite awhile before that happens. We will have all the followup work to do after that. I love my job and I love that we are busy and that we are making a difference in the leadership community.