Ellen show

This video cracks me up. Whenever I am kind of tired or down, I am now going to watch this. Thanks Gladys for the laughs.

Sunny San Diego

I am a San Diego girl through and through! The mostly sunny days is a big thing for me. Cloudy days tend to make me feel gloomy inside but sunshine gives me energy. I think I am really solar powered. :-) I know we need the rain especially in this drought but man do I love the sunshine.

We have a three day weekend coming up and I am really looking forward to it. I will be spending some quality time with the hubby and signing people up to join our small group. I am hoping to catch up with my brother since his life seems to have changed overnight and I know nothing.

Hopefully I will also be disciplined enough to get some exercise too. I have been doing a Tae-Bo video a few times a week and every time I feel like I am going to be sick afterwards. It is a good workout but it is hard. I love that it has uplifting gospel music in the background and you even have little kids, older people and out of shape people doing the workout in the video. I hate those videos where everyone already looks perfect! Not really all that helpful when you are having trouble breathing while doing the workout with them.

I know this is a lot of rambling but this is what was on my mind! :-P

Life is Messy!

There are times when I really wish that Jesus would have said, " If you make me your Saviour, your life will be perfect and happy." Alas, that is not what He said, He is my pillar of strength and provides for my every need but life is hard.

I have struggled with depression for the last 10-12 years. Over the last week, I have been going downhill fast - just getting really depressed. I am overweight and not able to get it together, I look at everything through tinted glasses (glass half full kind of thing), it was gray for days and Dan was out of town. All these things added up to me taking a sick day with a physical and emotional breakdown. God sure knew what He was doing when He put Dan and I together. He knows just what to say (even if he doesn't know what to say, he says the right thing) and he holds me and lets me cry on him. He is strong and firm but loving and tender all at the same time. I will be going back to counseling to work through my food issues (emotional eating). Dan is going with me to help me out and understand with me. I am truly blessed with the best husband for me. I love him so dearly.

It is hard for me to gain perspective on my life and friends and work. I view things through such a different lens. I take things so personally and worry that I am not liked etc. It certainly does not help me keep friends but it also makes it hard to get close to people. I wish I could change this part of me. Any suggestions? How do I see the truth through my own cloud of hurt and loneliness?

Sorry this is so depressing but I am basically just journaling my week.