It's been a while....

I started a diet about 6 weeks ago through Kaiser. It has been much harder than I expected but also very rewarding. I am on optifast, which is an all liquid diet, basically a full fast. I have lost 22 pounds so far and have 12 more to go before I start introducing food into my diet. Food is good, I miss food. It will be about a 6 week progression to full food. After that I start maintenance which is basically nutrition classes. I am really glad I did this. It has been good for my body and my mind. I have been learning more about myself and some of the things that I struggle with. I struggle with body image, I struggle with food and eating emotionally. I eat when I am bored, hurt, sad, etc. I hate to eat in front of people because I am worried about what they are thinking about me and my food choices. It is not a pleasant feeling. I am working toward becoming more independent and finding my worth in Christ instead of in family, friends or strangers. Pray for me, things are hard but it is a good hard!

I am also reading through a book with a friend of mine. I asked her to mentor me and help keep me accountable and I had no idea what that would look like but it has been so good. The book we are going through, Rhythms of the Inner Life, is touching me where I am at. Talking about longing and waiting for God. The patient, hopefulness in who God is and the promises He has made. I serve a good God, a loving God, a patient God, a Daddy, a disciplining God. He has and continues to radically change my life everyday I give to Him. He wants my life and I want to give it to Him. I want to know security in Him and not in this troubling world. Thank you God for loving us so much that you gave us the gift of Your Son and then gave us the choice! I love you Lord!