There are times when I really wish that Jesus would have said, " If you make me your Saviour, your life will be perfect and happy." Alas, that is not what He said, He is my pillar of strength and provides for my every need but life is hard.
I have struggled with depression for the last 10-12 years. Over the last week, I have been going downhill fast - just getting really depressed. I am overweight and not able to get it together, I look at everything through tinted glasses (glass half full kind of thing), it was gray for days and Dan was out of town. All these things added up to me taking a sick day with a physical and emotional breakdown. God sure knew what He was doing when He put Dan and I together. He knows just what to say (even if he doesn't know what to say, he says the right thing) and he holds me and lets me cry on him. He is strong and firm but loving and tender all at the same time. I will be going back to counseling to work through my food issues (emotional eating). Dan is going with me to help me out and understand with me. I am truly blessed with the best husband for me. I love him so dearly.
It is hard for me to gain perspective on my life and friends and work. I view things through such a different lens. I take things so personally and worry that I am not liked etc. It certainly does not help me keep friends but it also makes it hard to get close to people. I wish I could change this part of me. Any suggestions? How do I see the truth through my own cloud of hurt and loneliness?
Sorry this is so depressing but I am basically just journaling my week.
2 comments:
Katie, I have struggled with depression since 3rd grade and understand the ups and downs that come with it. So glad you took a MH day yesterday because without them, my head would explode.
You won't believe me, but I think you are so beautiful, as is. If you want to lose weight, that's up to you, but weight has nothing to do with how beautiful you are inside and out.
I treasure you as a friend and coworker, and miss you when you aren't here. You add to my day, every day with the way you care about people (which makes up for the fact I don't really care about people that much), especially me! I am selfish that way.
You have a faith that inspires me, a love to serve that humbles me, and a passion to care that encourages me. Thanks for sharing the hard days with us because we are in this sticky life together.
I think you care about people more than you think or give yourself credit for. You encourage me on a daily basis. I am truly blessed to serve with you. Love you Wendy
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