Sadness

Death...I try to avoid the reality of it. Apparently you can only avoid it for so long before it finds you. Dan's grandmother passed away on July 30th, 2008 and it hurts. I miss her so much and feel like it was not right that she be taken away from us. I want her back. It was the first funeral for me and let me tell you...I am NOT a fan. They are sad and awkward. You are never sure what to say and you don't know what will make you cry or even if you will cry. Then when you put the ashes in the niche, you think, this is really final, she is not coming back. Who thought dying should be part of the life process. I do not care for it at all. I want to go to heaven but I was kind of hoping to just kind of float my way there. I don't want to experience pain or death. I think reality is settling in slowly that that is not the way it works. The good news is that God is faithful and He loves me more than I can fathom. I have also chosen to believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died for me and conquered death so that I could be with Him for eternity. I have faith that I will be with the Father in the future and I have to tell you that I am really looking forward to it. I have no concept of what it will be like in heaven but I am positive it will not be a place of sorrow, regret, or pain. Thank you Jesus for loving me and for saving me from an eternity without You!